How can i convince someone that both, sunni's and shia's are Muslim, what i mean is, i know two people trying to get married but the girl's dad is saying no because teh guy is shia and she is sunni..i honestly beleive this is completly wrong, she came to me for advice for the past year we've been trying to convince her father but he's pretty stubborn. I dont understand why ppeople fight over that, 7imdillah in my family, one of my paretns is sunni and one is shia..that might come as surprise but we never fight about it, 7imdillah. The guy she is trying to marry her is also a very respectful guy and very good muslim. His family is all shia but they accept and want her because she is good. Her family is all willing except her dad, and thats the main person who needs to agree. What can i tell her to do or say to him to help the situation? Shes tried tlakin to her mom, writting a letter to her dad, and hes come to her house over ten times ..what else can they do?? Thanks for your time.

Maybe this will help or not if he wants to be married and live happily ever after with his to be wife he will have to be convinced to become a sunni and his whole familly too if he wants to be married to his to be wife he dosent have to ,but he could try his best to convinse there familly into becoming a sunni or he could just convinse her wifes father to agree to be married or, he doesent have too if they agree to be a sunni.Or the man could just be a sunnni and live happily ever after, or just try to convinse his familly to be a sunni or if that doesent work inshallah allah will help them be togethere and forever and maybe maybe not they might have a lovely marriage but im not to shure.
by : creative

thing is, he's already done that, hes now praying sunni way and everything and has agreed to let the kids be sunni because he beleive muslim is muslim no matter wat.. her father is the stubborn one thet doesnt beleive it. Dont get me wrong mashallah her father is a great guy but doesnt really listen to them, i thnk they need like a sheik to tlak to them but even if i got one, wat would he say? thnks fer replying btw.

bro i think it better 4 them not 2 get married coz there might get divorced later coz sunnis
r diffrernt from shaiah in many things n this ll make many problems

im actually a gurl lol, but i see what ur sayin and i donno i just dont agree. i know they are obviously different but like i said one of my parents are sunni and one is shia nd they make it work al7imdillah, they dont ever fight about it, and us, the kids, we got to choose wat we beleived after learning about it more.. .so i know for a fact that sunni or shia, it doesnt make a difference.. the main thing im wondering is how to convince her father.. wat can we say.. obviously its hard.. so thats why i am asking for anyy advice because we tried so much to convince her father.. . thanks for you posts btw i really appreciate it.

Your in quite a predicament!!! thr is no easy solution to such a problem, but the first thing that should happen is everyone involved should resort to dua! and hope that ALLAH(swt) guides you to a solution that leads to a happy outcome for everybody! If in fact the father is stubborn(as quite a few are lol) its very hard to talk him around so again, focused duas are the best option. on the plus side if your friend can assure her father personally that nothing bad will come from this and this is the best thing for her and her family. then ther maybe a chance that the idea will be planted into her fathers head and inshAllah the more he thinks about it the more he might see the proposal may in fact result in long term hapiness. I personally believe that iregardles of our muslim status we should all be allowed to happily marry which ever muslim we want be it muslim/shia. i mean come on Islam permits us to marry any person of the book (christian jew) so if a parent denies a marriage because he is shia then that more tradition and like you said a very stubborn dad!!! before i say i hope that helps, im gona say i hope that makes sense lol!! in my head it did!! but as you know things come out weird sometime!! now il say i hope it helps! may Allah listen to your and your friends duas and guide you to happy future.

Thank you so much for your reply, im sorry i ddnt reply earlier, things have been really crazy at skewl n home.. . i actually talked to her alot recently and they ahve come to a conclusion that this coming July they are going to get married whether the parents allow it or not i donno about this at all but im just gunna keep praying for them.. . i never thoughtit would come to this, and im trying to talk her out of it but i think she might not even do it, she doesnt seem like she would, she loves her parents.. . and i completley agree with you.. .and yes it made sense to me lol, thanks again! i'll fill u in if anything happens next.

Dear sister in Islam, i see the worry and concern you have with your friend. I thought i'd add some kind words and maybe Insha Allah you might see what the situation is clearly.

First and fore most, i am no sheikh or a person who has any authority to give any fathwah, I will try my best to stick to the Quran and Sunnah.

If i say anything wrong the it is from me and i ask for the forgivness from Allah Subhana Wata Ala. If any good comes out of this then it is from Allah Subhana Wata Ala.

May Allah Subhana Wata Ala guide us all in his righteous path and keep us tightly griped to He Subhana Wata Ala's rope. Amen.

First and fore most my dear sister, your friend is in a situation were she has got her self involved in haram and this may have started with a little and now the temptation of the shytan has lead her into a deep whole which she is finding hard to come out off.

My very first advice would be sister that your friend makes istigfar and ask's Allah Subhana Wata Ala for forgiveness in the sin that she has got herself involved in.

Secondly a sister cannot get married with out a Wali, regardless whether this is her first marriage or second. This is the view of the majority of scholars, including al-Shaafa’i, Maalik and Ahmad. They take as evidence (daleel) the hadeeth:

“There should be no nikaah (marriage contract) except with a wali (guardian).”

(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1101; Abu Dawood, 2085; Ibn Maajah, 1881. It is saheeh, as stated in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel,6/235, by al-Albaani, may Allaah have mercy on him).

And the hadeeth:

“Any woman who gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If her husband has consummated the marriage, then the mahr belongs to her in return for that. If she does not have a wali then the (Muslim) ruler is the wali of anyone who does not have a wali.”

(Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879).

I dont want to go into to much details as my knowledge is not enough for me to make any further conclusion for i do not clearly understand the situation of ur friend.

Also there is an ample differences in the islamic understanding of a AShia and a Sunni muslim and it is very contraversial for me to even go into this debate.

I would say that for the sister to do that which is adviced in hadeeth, to do istikara.

I would diffinately say that the sister does istakara continueously until she gets a clear sign whether this is good for the sister in dunya and akira and for her religion.

If this is good for her then Allah Subhana Wata Ala will make it easy on her and if it is not then Allah subhana wata ala will ease the pain in her heart and give her the right direction Insha Allah.

I pray that Allah subhana wata ala guides the sister and keeps her steadfast in iman.

My dear sister, there is no one that can do anything for anyone of us except Allah Subhana Wata Ala.


Wa Asalaam.

Firstly, let me say thanks for your reply.. .

I had no idea that you coudnt get married islamicly without permission of the wali.. i mean i knew thet pple did it and it was wrong bes i thought it was "makrooh" and not 7aram, i DEFINETLY need to tell her thet.. .she is not a bad person, infact she prays five times a day and is one of the most respectful people i know.. .shes been with him for six years now.. .but only talk on the phone and msn, they go to same university but do not stay together much because there are wayy too much arabs here and he doesnt want anyone to be talkin, nor does she. However, they got a sheikh to tlak to her fatehr and SOO many fathers tlaked to her father telling him thet it was haram to not let them two get married JUST because of the sunnah shiaa differences.. .i for one, have one parent sunnah and one shiah.. .which i feel very lucky about. I am learning both sides without having to hate! For her, her father and all relatives are sunnah, and beleive in it stronglyyyy so is forbiding the marriage. I agree with you that she shouldnt hav got herself in this mess in begining but the past is past and they BOTH are not willing to give up.. .i honestly feel so useless to her, i guess im just going to have to talk to her and pray for her.. .what happens is maktoob i guess.. . i dont think we will find a soloution any time soon. Thank you so much for you reply btw, i learnt something new, and you opened my eyes up to more.. . i will enshallah keep u updated after i speak to ehr today enshallah.

Subhana Allah, i wrote a long reply to the dear sister, but i pressed something and it all went. lol.

May Allah subhana wata ala forgive me. It was very long with alot of information and ahadiths.
Never mind maybe next time Insha Allah.

Dear sister, my quick and short advice would be that, you should seek the advice from a really good scholars who can advice you further in your friends situation.

There are various ways of looking at this and only a good scholar can make the right advice for you friend.

Please tell the sister to do istakara. the best advice is the advice from Allah subhana wata ala. The Alimulgaib '' Allah the only person who knows the future''.

May Allah guide the sister and us all and keep us steadfast in Iman. Amen

Acha me got to run sister, wil be back in a bit Insha Allah.

Rememeber me in your dua's
JazakAllah Khay'r

sub7an allah, i know the feeling thet happened to me enoughhhhhh times.. bes i think what you've sudgessted is a really good idea but i dont know any scholars... i live in ottawa, do you know any here that i can get in touch with?
Thanks again for ur replyy.. ^_^ take care.

Sorry sister, i wish i new any in your town, unfortunately i havnt event heard of the town u have mentioned. I am from UK and live outside london.

You can go to www.islam-qa.com seach for similar issues that others have had or ask the shekh on the site. leave your question with the full back ground and Insha Allah the sheikh will try to help.

Wa Asalaam

Thanks, ottawa is in canada. Thanks for the site, mashkoor wallah.. i really appreciate it.

wo0w that is didn`t easy

we say all the muslims as one budy

when the thing of budy have tired

all the budyes go for the tired and can`t sleep

but i saw the muslims sunnah didn`t like shiaah and shiaah the same

not the all

some of them

from that we cant be live in our life

im sorry, i dont really understand what you mean. . can u re-word it please.?